To anyone reading this I apologise in advance – the following post is a self-indulgent rant. I’m in a bit of a crappy mood and I just need a moment to vent and then I’ll probably be right as rain!

Work today was actually really stressful for the first time. I have a massive induction booklet and it is tough. The premise is simple enough – you read some information, had a think about what you’ve read and learnt and answer questions on the topics, preferably without looking at your notes. However, for some unknown reason, I just cannot remember any of the information and am genuinely struggling to answer these questions. What I find most frustrating is the fact that I’m usually pretty good at theoretical work and can often put my ideas and thoughts into semi-intelligent answers – I mean I have a bloody English degree for Christ’s sake! Yet most of this has so far had me really quite stumped. I’m not sure if maybe I’m getting a little bit too stressed about it and I need to step back and try again afresh or adopt some of my usual study techniques and treat it more like a university project but I definitely need to try something new I think. It doesn’t help that the induction folder is absolutely massive plus I’m the first one employee that’s used this new induction – my fellow CSV Volunteer was genuinely shocked by how intense it was,as she didn’t have to do half as much work as I’m having to do. Also I’ve signed up to do a distance learning course (related to work) and I need to answer a sample case study/essay type question that again has me stumped – I literally cannot think of a thing to write at the moment and you have to do it unaided which doesn’t help. I suppose the bright side of it all is that I’ll be so knowledgeable and have a really good understanding of the care sector which will look great on my CV (provided I pass!)

I’m also massively broke at the moment which does not help matters at all. I say broke, by that I mean all my money is already allocated for lots of fun activities and, at the present time, I have no spare dollar for life’s little luxuries such as chocolate or wine. I have no reason to  moan about money at all, seeing as I’m budgeting well enough to be able to afford to go to both Edinburgh and Milan over the next two weekends but the last thing I feel like doing at the moment is accounting for every last penny I spend and being good. I even got a book out the library to help me try and budget as I am so bad at it – pathetic I know!

I suppose today has been a bit of a blip and, to be fair, it was expected –  I certainly didn’t ever think this experience would be easy and I knew I’d be challenged in ways I’ve never been before. I guess I just didn’t expect the theoretical side to be so difficult, seeing as that is usually what I do best at. I’m sure I’ll probably crack it soon with a bit more training and background reading and all that but at the moment it just feels like a massive mountain of paperwork.

I cannot wait to get myself to Italy for a much needed break!


1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. onyourwaytolalaland
    Sep 25, 2012 @ 21:17:50

    hang in there!


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